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8th March, 2019, Edited by Focus24 team

Varanasi city. Two days before you died we met at a park. You were forcing me to pick all the dafodils and roses. Apparently you wanted me to make a flower crown for you. We laughed so hard while doing all the silly stuff that day and not even once I felt that you were lonely, tired or hopeless. 

When I heard the news of your death I was shocked. I rushed to your house thinking it might be a silly joke. But when I saw your pale, lifeless body lying I lost it. I cried till there were no more tears left to shed. 

Months after your death I went through your computer's search history. 

There were many searches related to 'How to pretend to be happy?', 'How to find fake happiness?' And 'The easiest way to die'. 

I had no idea how lonely you felt until I saw it myself. 

Next to your computer laid the flower crown that we made, dried and lifeless - just like your corpse that day.

What left me surprised was the way you pretended that everything was okay. Either you were a good actor or your search histories provided you with all the relatable informations.

Why couldn't you share your loneliness with me?

Why did you pretend to be fine all the time?

Why couldn't I see tiredness in your eyes?

And most important, I had brought you a flower crown. Just like you wanted it to be. 

I wanted to give it to you but now that you are gone what do I do with it? 

Should I put it on your grave now?

Will you accept it?

Tell me. I am lonely now.

Should I join you too?

Content by : Neha Ojha, Varanasi city.